Bullies only have power over you if you let them but as a child you are still building resilience. Words can cut like a knife and one simple sign of being weak can lead to others joining the bullies pack.
As a parent it broke my heart whenever my kids were bullied or if they ever watched other people being bullied.
Throughout my high school years I was a long term victim of bullying and it resulted in me often wagging school just to avoid the bullies.
Years later I have the confidence that I lacked in my younger years but a few friends along the way sadly lost their fight to calm the voices that had implanted themselves in their daily thoughts and they ended their lives.
So I am here sharing my letter to you dear bully
You crave attention because without it you feel ordinary. There are some things that you do not know ;
It is hard work keeping an army of followers and many of your followers are with you through fear , fear that they to will be on the recieving end if they dont join you.
The person you are bullying may already be a victim of emotional abuse at home or a sufferer of anxiety . Your words may just be the last thing they can handle or the one thing that tips them over the edge.
You can change things today before everyone discovers ‘ That quite possibly you are harbouring a secret that has made you retaliate or you are a very lonely person because as a bully you can trust no one or show no vunerability.
One day you will be someones boss , partner , parent , Aunt or Uncle. Will you continue your bullying into your adult life and how will you feel if your child or niece or nephew are bullied ?
Sincerely Not a victim anymore
If you suspect that your child is being bullied at school or as a young adult then some great tips can be found here :
I know that I always seem to talk about the power of layers when it comes to style choices but I really am passionate about layering using staple wardrobe pieces.
Lightweight kimonos make a great addition to your staple pieces and can be styled in a wide variety of ways .
The even better part is that they are easy to pack when travelling and don’t take up as much space as a jacket .
This week I have included my Riviera jacket in sail away from My Boutique curves (kindly gifted ) in my outfits.
Here are three ways that I have worn my kimono style Jacket :
With Jeans and a print clash tshirt – long sleeve tshirt is from Millers
With Yellow forever 21plus dress.
With Millers ponte pants and a black tank top.
You can purchase the My Riviera Jacket here.
Remember to be brave and add some colour to your wardrobe this autumn.
Getting away from it all including technology can be bliss. No technology and time to sit and relax , laugh and not be clock watching .
Over the years camping has been our affordable escape especially with kids . Camping Mr T + T style meant open fires , no toilets and waking up to the sound of wild goats on one occasion.
We progressed as the kids got older and stayed in places where there were toilets and showers but for me some of the best trips have been where there has been no phone signal .
Europe has been luring me ever since I can remember but I know its a while away . So for now im aiming for the island holiday .
I will never forget the day a total stranger told me that I was spoiling my child and would regret it later. At the time I had no comeback line. I was a first time Mum and on the early road to discovering my parenting style .
I admit it ; I still pick up and cuddle /carry my 3 year old when she is tired or wants a hug and my heart may have just broke a bit the other day when I was walking through the shops and a toddler was crying with his arms up and his parents told him he was too big and needed to walk.
I could never make it past the stand back but be ready with the firetruck and parachute if you need it parent but after nearly 24 years of parenting Im happy with this method and it seems to be working out okay .
In March , I had a very big , exciting day where I flew to Sydney with my youngest two daughters . A photo shoot for Millers.
Today , I’m thrilled to be able to share some of those images with you !
When the wonderful team from Millers asked if we would like to be part of their 2016 Mother’s Day campaign , it was a big yes because I have been purchasing pieces from Millers for years . Plus I am very excited about being part of the seeing me project .
My worries about jet lag , Timezone differences and affects on Miss Moo 3 and Catriarna 18 were dispelled within the first 2 minutes of us arriving at the shoot location which was breathtaking .
The girls and I were pampered and styled by the wonderful Paul Beddgood and his team , who worked his wonderful magic to erase any signs of jetlag .
The photo shoot was very relaxed and fun and many laughs were had throughout the day which made leaving at the end of the day to catch our flight home very hard .
I look forward to featuring more of the beautiful Millers Autumn / Winter collection here , on Instagram and as a guest writer on the Millers blog and hope you will join me . All items worn other than Miss Moo’s can be purchased online at Millers .
Note : Images are property of Millers
I have to admit , that as a consumer when it comes to toys I am a big critic. Flashing lights , electronically activated movement or anything where no interaction other than watching is required wont win me over.
So when I was given the opportunity to review Bunchems they ticked one of my priority boxes ; Bunchems are designed to encourage children to use their imagination ✔. Bunchems are recommended for children 4 years and over but our 3 year old had a great time with us exploring , creating and engaging with them.
What are Bunchems
“Combining construction with craft”. Bunchems are furry “burr” like plastic spheres that magically stick together to build and create. Here is the part grown-ups will love ; No glue is required and Bunchems can be used over and over to create flowers , cars or many other creations.
Here’s What we discovered about Bunchems –
- They are easily manipulated
- The colours are bright ( great for identifying , sorting and colour pattern activities )
- The extra pieces – sunglasses, hats etc. provide opportunity for conversations and speech
- There are loads of things to build with them and they provide children with sensory opportunities.
- They can be packed away easily ( just scrunch them in a ball)
Take a look at the fun we had
Do you know someone who would like Bunchems and what would they create ?
Note : It is important you supervise play around little ones as the Bunchems can get caught in loose fabric or hair if the kiddies are left to their own devices. They are great for parent and child play, which is great because they are a lot of fun to play with (even for adults)! If they do get tangled you can easily remove them, there is a tutorial for this
Growing up, I always felt that I needed to be the best at something in order to make my mark on the world. Now I know owning what I’m crap at helps me focus on the stuff I’m good at.
Heres what Im crap at –
Don’t get me wrong I can mow with the best of them but I’m not as passionate about it as my neighbours, who could possibly give the better homes and gardens crew a run for their money. I don’t do straight lines well because I’m an outside the box person and I just want to get it over with.
Making pinterest worthy kids birthday cakes
For years I used to make my kids birthday cakes that I spent hours decorating. I must say I was pretty impressed with my efforts and would easily rate them as at least two levels above the ones in social media that are headed NAILED IT. Now its all about time and sleep and I outsource my kids cakes. To the Mums that make theirs and are awesome at this; I have to say I admire your amazing intrinsicly iced Frozen themed birthday cake (do you have a business card?).
Long phone conversations
SMS is my favourite phone communication or ‘let’s catch up for lunch and laughs so you can tell me what you have been up to’.
I enjoy catching up with friends & family and I really am an awesome listener, but I don’t think I would make a good therapist. I’m not really that interested in your sister’s, friend’s, cousin’s wart.
For all those Mums who get their aunty to bake the cakes for the cake sale, we know you are secretly ace at other things that we don’t always see and we all need that person to organise events, lead the self defence class …….
Are there things you are Ace at but keep to yourself?
“When I grow up I want to buy a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom house in a great suburb, work 2 jobs and never afford to go on holiday ever.”, said the five year old child never.
Owning a home or being in the mortgage club has continued its passing from generation to generation, but my concern is that we as parents may be setting our children up for failure in a world that is already full of pressure and competition to get a good education and gain employment while also experiencing a high percentage of anxiety to continue to follow the path before them.
I sat listening to my grandmother tell me the story of how they scrimped and saved every penny to buy their first home while eating porridge for dinner many times during my early years (please don’t get me wrong, this story and the many others that I was privilege to hear I will always cherish), but it was the reality of life as an adult that changed my view of what was truly important. The regrets of many that they wish they had travelled or spent more time with their loved ones. The possibilities that some may not have left enough space in their life to share their wonderful homes with.
Listening to and reading the many tales in the media of how devastating it is to Generation Y that they may possibly never own a home or be able to live life a comfortable life over the last few weeks may have just been like waving a red flag to me. If this is your dream then I say go for it but please lets stop telling the next generation that they will live a failed life if they don’t own a house.
The expectation that each generation should do better than the next has always been there, but by better do we mean they should own more material objects?
Generation Y; it is okay if you rent instead of buying and if you decide to buy a house that is great to. Generations before you survived the depression and many other financial downturns including the recession and moved forward. The decision is yours to make, do it with pride.
They all stood there looking at us in a line, some with sad faces and others trying not to nervously laugh or show any fear. The writing was on the wall, only it was real writing in marker. As parents Mr T & T and I had a decision to make. Would we use the Divide and conquer approach in hope of a confession from our children?
As a parent, in the workplace or in other settings you may have witnessed the divide and conquer or punish and take down the culprit approach. It’s an old method that I sadly see used often still.
Does it work?
I’m pretty sure the person who was throwing spitballs in class or making noises behind the teacher’s back didn’t give a crap if everyone was kept in, and they still threw spitballs in the next class. After all they weren’t really caught and they were free to do it the next day.
Everyone else didn’t want to suffer the possible wrath of the culprit so kept their mouth shut and dobbing just isn’t cool.
A lot was learnt in our early years of parenting especially on that day of trying to discover who wrote on the wall. If the offender doesn’t care and is testing the boundaries then punishing everyone in hope of a confession will not make even the smallest ripple in their “I give a toss” river.
When you are tearing your hair out in frustration because you are parenting a repeated “let’s see who I can get in trouble or what I can get away with” offender, then it’s time to catch them out with your best detective work; gather your evidence and approach them directly. Pulling your child aside individually and giving them the chance to tell you first, before informing them that you know and making sure the punishment fits the crime (in this case it was cleaning the wall and a couple of extra ones). If they fess up then it is very important to let them know how pleased you are that they told the truth.
In a world of being political correct, trying not to hurt people’s feelings & egos and lawsuits
I hope our children will always know that it’s better to tell the truth – and if you mess up then try and fix it, move on and learn by it.