Finding the balance when you have kids and are in a relationship can be a bit like running through a land mine while trying to look sexy in lacy negligee that itches like crazy .
The catchup on what is going on with the kids, what needs to be done and parenting decisions can take dominate place in conversations . I lost count for a while there on how many times my husband I were out on date night with a set agenda of not talking about the kids and the rule only lasted 5 minute , before we knew it we had paid the bill and it was time to go home.
Getting all dressed up and making the effort after a long day . Then coming home feeling like a kid opening a Christmas present , only to discover they got socks can make you wonder why you even went out in the first place .
Making a list together of new activities and places you would like to go to can pull you out of your comfort zone and make it worth giving up an evening of Netflix and PJs . No matter how tempting that episode of your favourite series looks. A Date night jar to store your ideas for dates can spice things up .
Are you missing the conversations about yourselves , your dreams and conversations that aren’t always about the kids?
Sure there are many things to discuss and decisions to make about your kids and time can be set aside to make them but keeping the spark alive and making sure the person you choose to spend your life with feels valued should also take top priority. Putting the phone away and making this time just about the two of you is a good start.
Here is a list of conversation starters to guide your date night away from defaulting to kids and work talk.
Date Night conversation starters:
- What is your favourite memory of us?
- If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go?
- What would you do with $10 000 ?
- If you could have one superpower what would it be?
- What was your favourite TV show as a kid?
- Describe your perfect day.
- What song makes you think about me?
- What is your most embarrassing memory?
- Tell me three things you love about me?
- When was the last time you laughed so much your stomach and jaw hurt?
Initially it might take practice to get the conversation rolling but the effort will see you relaxing and laughing together in no time.