Climbing into bed after checking on my girls it hit me that in 3 days my husband would be home.
The homestretch to homecoming is exciting and also filled with emotion and many thoughts that most FIFO wives don’t share.
The countdown is always noted with 10,9,8,7…….. more sleeps with our children and at times there will be some tears from our youngest with no words but the understanding is there and we know that we miss him. We sit in silence and cuddle for a while. The phone rings and we are excited. The chatter comes easier for the girls and any of our other children who are visiting. I recount my daily events and try to keep the conversation light. I want to share so many small things during our conversations but I am mindful of how I would feel if I was the one who was away.
You see for the past 11 days I have kept myself very busy and tried not to allow myself to think about how much I miss him. It is what I need to do to get through the time that he is away working. When my love is away the house beats to a different drum. The routine is one that has developed over many evenings of Oh that was a crap start or end to the day thoughts while consuming a glass of red. Some days are a mad rush of grab and run to get to work on time after daycare drop off and after making sure our girl gets to work on time other days are a giant fist pump in the air with time to spare.
I am excited , worried , overwhelmed and slightly nervous at the same time as the day approaches.
There is a sense of wanting to hold on tight to keeping it together and a simple exhaustion that has begun to creep in and make me slightly cranky. Simple things change my strong stance to a blubbering fool such as a song on the radio , a picture or a mere mention of a memory. Silly thoughts enter my head ; What if I have changed , will he like the new doona cover?, What will we talk about?.
Pick up day is here and I am overwhelmed as he walks through the airport gate or towards the car. He is here but there is a slight awkwardness as we drive home and we navigate the shift of change that has taken place over the two weeks. Simple things like new cup choices and food likes and dislikes plus who chooses whats for dinner change the beat of the drum and just as we find a new rhythm it changes again as it is time already to fly back to work.
Farewells are quick and emotional on fly out morning and although it never gets easier the familiarity of the routine kicks in and keeps life flowing in the knowledge that this is what we need to do for now.
Do you have routines that help you keep things flowing when your partner is away?